March 21, 2017 (con’t)

Yooooooooo, Napoli is dope. And this Airbnb is just as dope. I’m definitely regretting only staying here for 2 days. The apartment is on some designer lighting on LSD type shit, so there’s a purple glow following my every footstep (which, yes, if you’re wondering does make me the clear heir to Prince. RIP). It’s two stories and crucially it has a functional washer and dryer combo. And a Rainshower shower head, which is the newest addition to the list of things I didn’t know about three weeks ago but are absolutely crucial to my survival now. And there’s a 60 inch 4K TV on which I’m currently watching Sherlock (go watch Sherlock. Benedict Cumberbatch could get it). Leaving this place will not be easy.

On the other hand, look at that fucking picture. That’s not real life. And that’s about twenty steps from my front door. The weather is perfect (I’m just waiting for it to storm the entire time I’m in France for karmic reasons) and the water framed itself perfectly in front of the mountains. I’m also like 21% sure that’s Mount Vesuvius. Within a 5 minute walk of the apartment are two ancient castles, a strip of designer shops, and pizza shops like you wouldn’t believe. My quest to come here solely to hit one specific pizza place and do laundry may be untenable.

The one drawback that I’ve noticed so far is the driving habits of everyone who owns any type of vehicle. Imagine a bunch of New York cabbies. Now put half of them on scooters/Mopeds. Now imagine that everyone refuses to acknowledge even the concept of a lane. And now give all of those people a crippling meth addiction. Boom. That’s what the streets are like here.

Despite the allure of the outside world, I remain unwavering in my dedication to Netflix and laundry for the night, if only for the sake of my body. I may have been a tad bit dramatic when I described the complete destruction of my southernmost tendons a few days ago, but there is definitely something structurally wrong with my right knee. So in the interest of surviving Venice and Paris, we take the night off. There are worse places to be; as I sit on the memory foam mattress in front of this unnecessarily large TV sipping Chianti (5 euros and it’s incredible. I love this country). Have fun at work back in the states.

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